A beautiful day at the victorian winter garden hall in Hexham. Ellen choose Cornflowers in remeberance of her late grandmother and the decorations flowed from there. Beautiful wild flower arrangements everywhere and lots of fun and games, aeroplane kits, lawn games and a caleidh. Ellen carried an authentic vintage purse bought by her mother decades ago and beautiful sparkly pumps.

Ellen The Bride: Before Tom and I got married, we had already been together for 8 years. Neither of us had any real set idea as to what we wanted from our wedding day, but we were clear about its key components: we wanted it to be fun, totally unpretentious, and we wanted it to reflect the partnership we had already built together. We often hold parties for our friends, so we basically approached the wedding like we would a great shindig: we needed great food, booze, quality music to dance to, and all the right people there to celebrate with us.

The main thing we wanted to get out of our wedding, though, was to have a day in which everyone could be completely relaxed, not worry about "wedding rules" and just be themselves. For us a fundamental element of the day had to be that we could celebrate with our family and friends without worrying whether or not everything was perfect or matched up to convention: we just wanted to have FUN.

There were also aspects of wedding traditions that neither of us felt reflected our relationship: after 8 years together, for example, it felt odd to have my Dad give me away, so Tom and I walked down the aisle together instead. It felt fantastic for us to walk down the aisle as a team. Similarly, we worked hard on the vows together so that they reflected how far we'd come already. We approached everything together, with an enquiring mind, to ensure that every element of the day felt personal to us. We didn't do this consciously, or as a grand political statement, but rather because our wedding day meant an awful lot to us and we didn't want to just go through the motions that were expected of us.

Despite this generally unstructured approach to the wedding, we actually had tons to do to get it in order - our venue only came with the space, so everything else was completely DIY. We couldn't have managed it without the amazing help offered by our family and friends in setting up the venue the day before - it meant that by the time we got to our wedding day we had already been bowled over by the immense support they had shown us, we honestly couldn't have done it without them!

Before our wedding day we were somewhat sceptical at the idea that it would be "the best day of our lives" - there was so much riding on its success, and it just seemed unfeasible that such a thing existed outside of Hallmark cards. In reality, though, it really was magical: not just because everything worked perfectly, the weather was beautiful and the venue flawless, but mainly because it was simply amazing to have everyone we cared about rooting for us, and enjoying themselves.

If we had any advice to offer after our wedding, it would be to work as a team, and only agree to things that you are comfortable with. We were constantly told by our loved ones to please ourselves in preparing our wedding, but in reality a wedding is a public affair and we felt quite keenly that we wanted to have a day in which everyone would feel welcome. Saying that, the fact that we wanted to accommodate our guests' needs should not come at the cost of being forced into doing something you don't feel comfortable with. The fact that Tom and I worked so closely together on the preparation of the wedding meant that we could maintain a united front when under pressure from other people's suggestions, which turned out to be crucial in having a day that reflected us so well. I have absolutely no idea how some brides manage taking on the organisation of the wedding single-handedly: Tom and I divided the tasks fairly evenly, and this still took loads of work! (And we're genuinely quite organised people!) It meant that we ended up with a day that we were both really happy with, and meant that in the run-up to the wedding the burden was halved and the excitement shared.

The Brides Fashion and accessories

It's fairly safe to say that I was a somewhat reluctant bride when it came to wedding dresses - the only reason I decided to wear white was on the basis that no-one else would be. I was absolutely horrified at how expensive wedding dresses were, and pretty demoralised by how centred around the dress the day is generally considered to be: I got married so I could be with my love forever, not wear an enormous, expensive meringue once!

It's kind of ridiculous, then, that I ended up with such an extremely pretty, traditional dress. I scoured end-of-line, vintage and second-hand shops and couldn't find anything that suited me (turns out bosoms were tiny in the 50s, who knew), so eventually admitted defeat by going to more conventional wedding dress shops. There I found that there was no such thing as "The Dress" - it turns out that anything that costs £2000+ looks pretty fab on, so I found it really hard to choose, and still couldn't bear the expense. So I compromised by seeking out a sample sale, and getting my dress from there.

Having spent some time living in Spain I was immediately attracted to lacey detailing, but otherwise my main concern was just making sure I could move and eat in it! The dress I chose was lovely and light, and I just felt completely myself in it - my main fear was that I would feel like an idiot even if I looked good!

I was really pleased with my hair and make-up for the day thanks to Vicky at Pins, Petals, Powder - she was really responsive to my ill-formed thoughts, and managed to turn my extremely thick, unruly hair into a beautifully relaxed up-do which I felt completely at ease in and lasted all night despite copious dancing!!

I only managed one ceilidh dance in my big wedding dress - it was just too boisterous! I'd bought myself a cheap lacy number from H&M for dancing in, and wore my favourite old Irregular Choice heels to go with them.

My Mam gave me the pearl earrings as a gift, as well as a 1920s handbag of hers. I had TWO engagement rings to wear (kind of excessive, I know): Tom proposed with a beautiful amethyst, rose and white gold ring rather than a "rock", because he knew that I had already inherited a more traditional engagement ring. They're both really unusual, don't really match each other, but have immense sentimental value - so I wear both all the time.

The Groom's Fashion and accessories

Tom didn't have any set ideas about what he wanted to wear either, but was pretty adamant that it should feature a waistcoat! His one shopping trip with his Best Man entailed a visit to one shop and most of the afternoon spent in the pub - turns out boys love gender stereotypes! So Tom and I went shopping together and quickly picked out a very sharp-looking steel-blue number for him. He chose the ties for himself and the Best Man which I initially hated - but was proven totally wrong as the dusky jade colour worked perfectly with the other colours on the day.

The Venue

Although Tom and I met at university, we are both from the North East and were agreed from the start that the wedding should take place there. We were spoilt for choice for venues in Northumberland as it's full of castles and country houses, but were concerned that such grand venues wouldn't really suit the laid-back day we intended - and a marquee or teepee sounded too risky for the blustery Pennine weather! The Hexham Winter Gardens were a perfect find for us - we loved the immense amount of light and space it offered with plenty of outdoor space.
It used to be a Spa Hotel in the 19th Century but is now the local comprehensive school - which meant that it was a really beautiful, unusual space that felt special without being overly grand. Its size had the added benefit of allowing us to hold the ceremony and the reception in the same place, which was a major factor in making the day hassle-free.

The one downside of the venue was that it was entirely DIY - I initially sold this to Tom as allowing us "greater creative control" and to save money. I think we managed both, but it did require a lot of organisation on our part to ensure all the different suppliers delivered on time and that we had everything we needed in advance. As a school, we were only able to set up out of school hours the day before the wedding - this meant all furniture, crockery, flowers etc. had to be delivered and in place and all decorations put up in just over 5 hours!! We were totally reliant on our friends and family in helping us to sort this out - and they were absolutely incredible! We were really pleased to end up with such a personal day that everyone had a hand in making, but it was a Lot of work in advance of the day.

Colour Scheme/Décor

If there was one thing this wedding didn't have it was a theme. We really just picked and chose decorations that appealed to us and that we could make cheaply and by hand!
I knew that I wanted deep blues and greens for the flowers, and this grew towards an intuitive inclination towards nature and the outdoors (which we both love). Shortly before the wedding, we realised that we'd unwittingly stumbled upon a vague Midsummer Nights' Dream theme with lots of flowers, fruits and stars everywhere - it felt fortuitous given that our first date Should have been on Midsummers' Day (I postponed it by a day to look busy!), but that was a complete accident.
Tom is a keen amateur artist, so he painted mini watercolours of mountains in the Lake District for each table. We combined placenames with favours by using peaches with little leaf name flags, and used vases and teapots from our Mums' and Ellen's Grandma's cupboards for the table flowers.
We decorated the hall with homemade star garlands and pom poms, with lots of bunting to fill in the gaps.

Flowers

One of my favourite things about the day was the flowers - my Mam arranged all of the table/hall decorations and they were well beyond anything I'd envisaged! We sourced all of the flowers from a local wholesaler, who organised the bouquets and buttonholes for us too.
The only thing I was adamant that I wanted for the wedding was cornflowers - which we combined with delphiniums, peonies and stocks for a very pretty, English country garden effect.

The Wedding Party Fashion

Tom didn't have any groomsmen, and we let our Best Man, Ben decide what to wear himself.

I let my two bridesmaids, Becky and Vicky, pick their own outfits - we went for a deep blue to match the cornflowers, but I wasn't dead set on that particularly. My main aim was that they felt themselves in what they were wearing, and given that they are grown women of completely different shapes and sizes I thought it made more sense to let them pick! Becky lives in Aberdeen while Vicky and I live in London though, so we had fun taking stupid pictures of ourselves in changing rooms and sharing them with the other side of the country to compare notes...

Ceremony

Initially Tom and I had wanted to take a straightforward approach to the ceremony and just recite the vows recommended to us by the registrar: we felt that a legal ceremony wasn't really capable of reflecting our relationship anyway, so why fuss over the detail? When we saw the suggested ceremonies, however, we really didn't feel that they reflected us at all - and mainly just made us cringe horribly!

So over a couple of pints in the pub one wintry evening we sat down and wrote our vows together - it was really nice to be able to say them in private to each other before the ceremony itself, and I think it must have worked as there wasn't a dry eye to be seen during the ceremony!

We're both avid readers and former Arts' students, so snobbery was always going to be an issue when tackling the cheese-fest that is wedding readings. I'd also spent days searching for readings for my sister's wedding a few years previously, and wanted to find something a bit unusual that also reflected us as a couple. Tom's sister Helen read 'Nay, but I fancy somehow' by Robert Louis Stephenson, our friend Jerry read 'Tin Wedding Whistle' by Ogden Nash, and our bridesmaid Vicky read an extract from the Odyssey (chosen on the basis that few weddings include the sentiment "Despair to their enemies, joy to all their friends. Their own best claim to glory").

We really had no intention to be so particular about the ceremony, but ended up restructuring the registrar's speech and the wording of our vows quite significantly so that they reflected our marriage as a marker in our relationship rather than being the start of it. There is no reason why you can't do this - the legal obligations form a very small part of the ceremony itself - and I'm really glad we did as it was a really personal, moving ceremony.

Entertainment

Music of all kinds was a really big part of our day - which was largely thanks to my little brother Will! He is a freelance musician, and transposed a version of Led Zeppelin's 'Bron-Yr-Aur' for us to walk down the aisle too which was AWESOME (particularly as it was so sweetly played that no-one noticed we were secretly rocking out).

He also organised a brass quintet (with him on tuba!) to play fantastic big band and jazz tunes after the ceremony while we were having drinks on the lawn. It meant the absolute earth for him to play such a fundamental role in the day, particularly as he did it with such characteristic coolness!

In the afternoon 'The Hedgehog's Skin' ceilidh band held a traditional Northumbrian ceilidh for us which was immense fun and got everyone up and dancing. We really couldn't have asked for anything more from the band - their musicianship was stellar, yet they were really unassuming and their caller was great at explaining all the steps to everyone! They were a really crucial part of making the day fun and relaxed - and could even play the tune we wanted our first dance to!

Food

We really wanted our wedding breakfast to be a laid-back, informal affair, and in particular felt that having a heavy three-course meal on a summer's day would be far too stuffy and leave everyone wanting to have a nap! Jackson's caterers were able to provide a perfect solution for us: a lovely selection of cold meats, cheeses, salads and quiche served to the tables that everyone could share. They also provided a hog roast in the evening which was exquisite and went down a storm. Most importantly they were a really competent, calm influence and helped in 'fill in the gaps' with serving drinks etc, which really helped the smooth running of the day - an easy thing to forget is necessary at a DIY venue.

A big way we got people involved in our wedding day was by asking for them to bring a cake instead of a gift for us. We were so touched at how much effort everyone went to despite the distances most people had come!

As Tom's grandma is a star fruitcake-maker, we asked her to make a small cake to be our 'cutting cake' for photos. Tom's granddad also got involved and they created a cake that far exceeded our expectations - an amazing two-tier number with handmade butterflies!! Our friend Anna did an amazing job of knitting our fox cake-toppers (in honour of our shared love of the much-maligned London wildlife!).

Photographer

We weren't really sure about having a photographer to start off with - we were quite happy to make do with the very competent amateurs amongst our family and friends rather than have a stranger along to our wedding! Most of all, we really hated the idea of posed shots - they never seem to reflect people at their best and most of all take up loads of precious party time!

Having SJ as our photographer was the perfect antidote to our fear of bad photography: she was fantastic at talking through everything in advance of the day to make sure we were comfortable, and was such a lovely, calming presence on the day itself. We immediately felt at ease with her and she captured the mood of the day beautifully - it's just wonderful to have so many pictures of everyone laughing and being themselves!

Videographer

We didn't actually know that we had a videographer - until we found out that it had been done behind our backs! Our friend Lee (who works in TV) managed to secretly film a montage of all our nearest and dearest belting out Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark" at the wedding (The Boss is the third person in this marriage). It was hilarious and so well done, and easily one of the most touching gifts we received. Although we can't remotely understand how he was able to film it during the day without us noticing - just goes to show how rushed off our feet we were!

Bride's Gown - Amparo by St Patrick from Mia Sposa | Earrings McAvoy & Beardsmore | Shoes Dorothy Perkins | Bridal Hair & Beauty Pins, Petals and Powder Flower Wholesaler Dutch Flower Auction Direct | Venue Hexham Winter Gardens at Queen Elizabeth High School Caterer Jackson's Caterers | Bridesmaid Dresses Quiz and Asos Groom House of Fraser Stationery Hollyhock Lane Entertainment The Hedgehog's Skin Videographer Lee Ryan | Furniture Collingwood Marquees | Linen/Glass hire Astra Hire